“Without You, who do I have?”


 
Srila Gurudev singing Hari Hari viphale janama gonainu, in Caracas, Venezuela, 1993.
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hari hari!
viphale janama goṅāinu
manuṣya-janama pāiyā rādhā-kṛṣṇa nā bhajiyā
jāniyā śuniyā viṣa khāinu
[1]

O Lord! My life has passed uselessly. I attained a human birth, but I did not serve Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. Knowingly I drank poison.
(jene śune viṣa khelam)
(rādhā-kṛṣṇa nā bhajiyā, jene śune viṣa khelam
)
golokera prema-dhana hari-nāma-saṅkīrtana
rati nā janmila kena tāya
saṁsāra-viṣānale divā-niśi hiyā jvale
juḍāite nā kainu upāya [2]
Why didn’t I develop attachment to Hari-nām-saṅkīrtan, the wealth of Goloka’s divine love? My heart burns day and night in the poisonous fire of saṁsāra, yet I have not sought any way to relieve it.
vrajendra-nandana yei śachī-suta haila sei
balarāma ha-ila nitāi
dīna-hīna yata chhila hari-nāme uddhārila
tāra śākṣī jagāi mādhāi [3]
Vrajendra Nandan became Śachī Suta and Balarām became Nitāi. They delivered all the fallen souls with the Holy Name. Jagāi and Mādhāi are evidence of this.
hā hā prabhu nanda-suta vṛṣabhānu-sutā-yuta
karuṇā karaha ei-bāra
narottama-dāsa kaya nā ṭheliha rāṅgā pāya
tomā vine ke āchhe āmāra [4]
O Rādhā! O Lord Kṛṣṇa! Be merciful to me this time. Narottam Dās says, “Please don’t push me away from Your reddish feet. Without You, who do I have?”
(Śrīla Narottam Dās Ṭhākur)
(ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Give Your mercy to me this time.
(ha ha prabhu nanda-suta, ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Oh Lord, son of Nanda Mahārāj, give Your mercy to me this time.
(vṛṣabhānu-sutā-yuta, ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Oh Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, give me Your mercy this time.
(śrī charaṇe śaraṇ diyā ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Give me the shelter of Your feet; give me Your mercy this time.

(śrī charaṇe sevā diyā ei bār āmāy dayā kara)

Give me the service of Your feet; give me Your mercy this time.
(śrī charaṇe sevā diyā ei bār āmāy dayā kara)

Give me the service of Your feet; give me Your mercy this time.
(patita pāvan gaurahari ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Saviour of the fallen Gaurahari, give Your mercy to me this time.

(hari he, hari he, hari he, hari he)

Oh Lord!
(gaurahari he, hari he, hari he, hari he)
Oh Gaurahari! Oh Lord!

Descent of divine love


Srila Gurudev chanting Sriman Nityananda Dvadasakam in 1988. Download mp3 audio here.
Receiving inspiration from Nityananda Prabhu, Srila Guru Maharaj wrote the Nityananda-dvadasakam. And there very nicely Guru Maharaj expressed his heart’s desire and glorified Nityananda Prabhu. I can remember one sloka now,
śrī-kṛṣṇa-premanāmā parama-sukhamayaḥ ko ’pyachintyaḥ padārtho
yad gandhāt sajjanaughā nigama-bahumataṁ mokṣam apy ākṣipanti
(Verse 5)
[“He distributes the inconceivable substance made of the highest ecstasy known as Sri Krishna-prema, by finding just the fragrance of which the sadhus throw away with disdain the liberation of oneness with Brahman described by the Vedas.”]
Something has appeared in this mundane world, and that is Sri Krishna-prema. We can see a little appearance of that, and that thing is parama-sukhamaya [supremely ecstatic] and achintya padartho [inconceivable]. We cannot guess what kind of thing Krishna-prema is, but it gives us six kinds of property and wealth. That is,
kleśa-ghnī śubha-dā mokṣa-laghutā-kṛt su-durlabhā
sāndrānanda-viśeṣātmā śrī-kṛṣṇākarṣiṇī cha sā
(Sri Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu: 1.1.17)
[“Pure devotion is the destroyer of affliction, the bestower of goodness,  utterly trivialises liberation, is extremely rarely obtained,  is extreme ecstasy itself, and is the attractor—subjugator—of Sri Krishna Himself.”]
It can attract Krishna directly. That is Krishna-prema. Krishna may be sleeping, Krishna  may be eating, Krishna may be doing many things, but anywhere that Krishna is, the devotee can attract Him with the highest devotion, which is called Krishna-prema. And that has appeared a little bit in this world and the whole world is dancing in the name of Krishna. And that parama-sukhamayah achintyah padartho was distributed by Nityananda Prabhu. That is Krishna-prema.
yad gandhāt sajjanaughā nigama-bahumataṁ mokṣam apy ākṣipanti  
And getting a little essence of that scent of Krishna-prema many big, big religious stalwarts are throwing the moksa-vanchha, desire for liberation.
Sukadev Goswami himself said,
pariniṣṭhito ’pi nairguṇye uttamaḥśloka-līlayā
gṛhīta-chetā rājarṣe ākhyānaṁ yad adhītavān
(Srimad Bhagavatam: 2.1.9)
Sukadev-Goswami-1760-painting“I was the greatest saint of this world who did not care for anything of this mundane world, or even for mukti; who left dharma [mundane piety], artha [wealth], kama [sense pleasure], moksa [liberation] from his mother’s womb and who with full consciousness of Brahma was living in the supramental plane. I was that type of saint, but I was attracted by the scent of the Gopis’ Krishna-prema. And I ran to my father Vedavyasa who distributed many things in this world through his scriptures, who exposed the Vedas in this world. I learned from him this Krishna-lila, and I want to tell that in this meeting. Please give your fine attention to this discussion.”
pariniṣṭhito ’pi nairguṇye uttamaḥśloka-līlayā
“No deviation can come from nirgun-brahma [the transcendental realm beyond the modes of material nature], and I was that type of man, but I was attracted by that Bhagavat-lila, and now I want to speak about that.”
Without the mercy, without the blessings of Nityananda Prabhu we will never get that type of Krishna-prema.
Spoken by Srila Gurudev on 4 December 1989.
nityanandaprabhuekachakra.jpg

The only source of joy


 
Srila Gurudev singing Parama-karuna, in the year 1989.
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parama karuṇa pahūn dui jana
nitāi gaurachandra
saba avatāra- sāra śiromaṇi
kevala ānanda-kanda [1]
Nitāi and Gaurachandra are the two most merciful Lords. They are the crest-jewels of all Avatārs and the only source of joy.
bhaja bhaja bhāi chaitanya nitāi
sudṛḍha viśvāsa kari’
viṣaya chhāḍiyā se rase majiyā
mukhe bala hari hari [2]
O brothers! Serve! Serve Śrī Śrī Chaitanya-Nitāi with firm faith! Leave aside worldly affairs, merge into this rasa, and chant aloud, ‘Hari! Hari!’
dekha ore bhāi tribhuvane nāi
emana dayāla dātā
paśu pākhī jhure pāṣāṇa vidare
śuni yāra guṇa-gāthā [3]
O brother! Look! There are no benefactors in the three worlds as merciful as Them. Hearing of Their glory, birds and animals cry and stones melt.
saṁsāre majiyā rahili paḍiyā
se pade nahila āśa
āpana karama bhuñyāya śamana
kahaye lochana dāsa [4]
“Fallen and immersed in saṁsāra, I never aspired for Their feet. Now Yamarāj subjects me to my karma.” So says Lochan Dās.
(Śrīla Lochan Dās Ṭhākur)
ekabār gaurahari haribolo
Just once chant ‘Gaurahari’ and ‘Hari’.
jaḍa-viṣay-kathā parihari gaurahari haribolo
Giving up mundane talk chant ‘Gaurahari’ and ‘Hari’.
sapārṣada gaurahari bhaja bhaja bhaja bhai re
Oh brothers, worship Gaurahari and His associates.
haribol haribol haribol haribol
Chant ‘Hari’!
nitāi gaura haribol haribol haribol haribol
Chant ‘Nitāi’, Gaura’, and ‘Hari’!

“Abandoning everything, I have come to Your feet”


Srila Gurudev singing Ki jani ki bale in the year 1989.
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ki jāni ki bale tomāra dhāmete
ha-inu śaraṇāgata
tumi dayāmaya patita-pāvana
patita-tāraṇe rata [1]
I do not know by what force I have taken shelter within Your abode. Surely it is by Your mercy alone, for You are ever seeking the purification and deliverance of the fallen souls.
bharasā āmāra ei mātra nātha!
tumi ta’ karuṇā-maya
tava dayā pātra nāhi mora sama
avaśya ghuchāre bhaya [2]
O Lord! You are merciful. This is my sole hope. There is no one who needs Your mercy more than I. Certainly You will dispel all my fear.
āmāre tārite kāhāra śakati
avanī-bhitare nāhi
dayāla ṭhākura! ghoṣaṇā tomāra
adhama pāmare trāhi [3]
There is no one on earth who has the power to deliver me. O merciful Lord! It is Your declaration that You deliver the lowest, most sinful persons.
sakala chhāḍiyā āsiyāchhi āmi
tomāra charaṇe nātha!
āmi nitya-dāsa tumi pālayitā
tumi goptā, jagannātha! [4]
Abandoning everything, I have come to Your feet, O Lord! I am Your eternal servant, and You are my maintainer and protector, O Lord of the universe!
tomāra sakala āmi mātra dāsa
āmāra tāribe tumi
tomāra charaṇa karinu varaṇa
āmāra nahi ta’ āmi [5]
Everything is Yours. I am only a servant. Certainly You will deliver me. I have embraced Your feet and no longer belong to myself.
bhakati-vinoda kādiya śaraṇa
la’yechhe tomāra pāya
kṣami’ aparādha nāme ruchi diyā
pālana karahe tāya [6]
Weeping, Bhakti Vinod takes shelter at Your feet. Forgiving his offences and giving him a taste for the Name, kindly maintain him.
(Śrīla Bhakti Vinod Ṭhākur)

Good news


 
Srila Gurudev singing Emana durmati, in the year 1989.
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(prabhu he!)
emana durmati saṁsāra bhitare
paḍiyā āchhinu āmi
tava nija-jana kona mahājane
pāṭhāiyā dile tumi [1]
O Lord! I am very wicked-minded and have fallen into this material world, but You have sent a great soul, Your associate (to rescue me).
dayā kari more patita dekhiyā
kahila āmāre giyā
ohe dīna-jana śuna bhāla kathā
ullasita ha’be hiyā [2]
Seeing me so fallen and being merciful, he came to me and said, “O humble soul, listen to this wonderful message and your heart will rejoice.
tomāre tārite śrī-kṛṣṇa-chaitanya
navadvīpe avatāra
tomā hena kata dīna-hīna jane
karilena bhava-pāra [3]
“Śrī Kṛṣṇa Chaitanya has appeared in Nabadwīp to deliver you. He has brought many humble souls just like you to the shore of the ocean of material existence.
vedera pratijñā rākhibāra tare
rukma-varṇa vipra-suta
mahāprabhu nāme nadīyā mātāya
saṅge bhāi avadhūta [4]
“To fulfil the prophecies of the Vedas, He has appeared with a golden complexion as a brāhmaṇ’s son bearing the name ‘Mahāprabhu’ and driven all of Nadia mad with divine love in the company of His brother Nityānanda.
nanda suta yini chaitanya gosāñī
nija-nāma kari’ dāna
tārila jagat tumi-o yāiyā
laha nija paritrāṇa [5]
“Śrī Chaitanya, who is Kṛṣṇa Himself, has distributed His own Name and delivered the world. Go also and accept your deliverance.”
se kathā śuniyā āsiyāchhi, nātha!
tomāra charaṇa-tale
bhakati-vinoda kādiyā kādiyā
āpana-kāhinī bale [6]
O Lord, hearing this message, Bhakti Vinod has come to the soles of Your feet. Crying, he tells his story.
(Śrīla Bhakti Vinod Ṭhākur)
(prabhu) ei bār āmāy dayā kara
O Lord, give Your mercy to me this time.
patita pāvan nitāi-gaura ei bār āmāy dayā kara
O Saviours of the fallen Śrī Nitāi and Śrī Gaura, give Your mercy to me this time.
(tomār) śrī charaṇe śaraṇ nilām ei bār āmāy dayā kara
I have taken shelter at Your feet; give me your mercy this time.
tava dāser anudās kari’ ei bār āmāy dayā kara
Make me the servant of Your servant; give me Your mercy this time.
sapārṣada gaurahari ei bār āmāy dayā kara
O Gaurahari with Your associates, give Your mercy to me this time.
sapārṣada gaurahari ei bār āmāy dayā kara
O Gaurahari with Your associates, give your mercy to me this time.
hari he hari he hari he hari he
O Lord!
nitāi gaura hari he hari he hari he
O Nitāi, Gaura, Hari!

“Gaurasundar sings in a sweet voice”


 
Srila Gurudev singing Gay Gora madhur svare, in the year 1989.
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[gāya gorā madhur svare
Gaurasundar sings in a sweet voice:]
“hare kṛṣṇa hare kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa hare hare
hare rāma hare rāma rāma rāma hare hare” [1]
gṛhe thāka, vane thāka
sadā ‘hari’ bale’ ḍāka
sukhe duḥkhe bhulo nāka
vadane hari-nām kara re [2]
Stay at home, or stay in a forest, regardless, always call out ‘Hari!’ In happiness and in sadness, don’t forget: chant the Lord’s Name aloud.
māyā-jāle baddha ha’ye
āchha michhe kāja la’ye
ekhan-o chetana peye
rādhā-mādhav-nām bala re [3]
Bound in Māyā’s net, you work in vain. Now, while you are still conscious, chant ‘Rādhā-Mādhava’.
jīvana ha-ila śeṣa
nā bhajile hṛṣīkeśa
bhaktivinod-upadeśa
ek-bār nām-rase māta re [4]
Your life is ending, but you have not served Hṛṣīkeś. Bhakti Vinod advises: once relish His Name’s nectar.
(Śrīla Bhakti Vinod Ṭhākur)

"Cooling like ten million moons"


 
Srila Gurudev singing Nitai-pada-kamala, in the year 1990.
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nitāi-pada-kamala koṭī-chandra-suśītala
ye chhāyāya jagata juḍāya
hena nitāi vine bhāi rādhā-kṛṣṇa pāite nāi
dṛḍha kari’ dhara nitāira pāya [1]
Cooling like ten million moons, Nitāi’s lotus feet soothe the world with their shade. O brother! Without Nitāi, you cannot reach Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. Firmly grasp Nitāi’s feet.
se sambandha nāhi yāra vṛthā janma gela tāra
sei paśu baḍa durāchāra
nitāi nā balila mukhe majila saṁsāra-sukhe
vidyā-kule ki karibe tāra [2]
The life of one who had no connection with Nitāi passed in vain. Such an animal is very wicked. What will learning (aristocratic birth) do for one who was immersed in worldly pleasures and never called aloud, ‘Nitāi’?
ahaṅkāre matta haiñā nitāi-pada pāsariyā
asatyere satya kari’ māni
nitāiyer karuṇā habe vraje rādhā-kṛṣṇa pābe
dhara nitāiyer charaṇ du’khāni [3]
Maddened with pride, forgetting Nitāi’s feet, I accept untruth as truth. When Nitāi bestows His mercy you will reach Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa in Vraja. Grasp Nitāi’s feet!
nitāiyer charaṇa satya tāhāra sevaka nitya
nitāi-pada sadā kara āśa
narottama baḍa duḥkhī nitāi more kara sukhī
rākha rāṅgā-charaṇera pāśa [4]
Nitāi’s feet are truth, and His servants are eternal. Always aspire for Nitāi’s feet. Narottam is very sad: “O Nitāi! Make me happy. Keep me beside your reddish feet.”
(Śrīla Narottam Dās Ṭhākur)

Bhuliya Tomare


 
Srila Gurudev singing Bhuliya Tomare, December 1989.
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bhuliyā tomāre, saṁsāre āsiyā,
peye nānā-vidha vyathā
tomāra charaṇe, āsiyāchhi āmi,
baliba duḥkhera kathā 
bhuliyā–forgetting; tomāre–about You; saṁsāre–in the material world; āsiyā– coming; peye–experiencing; nānā–various; vidha–forms; vyathā–of suffering; tomāra–Your; charaṇe–at the feet; āsiyāchhi–have come; āmi–I; baliba–will say; duḥkhera–of distress; kathā–tale.
[1] Forgetting You and coming to the material world, I have undergone all sorts of suffering. Now I have come before Your feet and will express my tale of distress.
jananī-jaṭhare, chhilāma yakhana,
viṣama bandhana-pāśe
eka-bāra prabhu! dekhā diyā more,
vañchile e dīna dāse
jananī–of my mother; jaṭhare–in the womb; chhilāma–I was; yakhana– when; viṣama–terrible; bandhana–binding; pāśe–with the ropes; eka–one; bāra–time; prabhu!–O Lord!; dekha–sight; diyā–giving; more–to me; vañchile–deprived; e–this; dīna–poor; dāse–to this servant. 
[2] While I was bound in the terrible confines of my mother’s womb, You once revealed Yourself to me, O Lord! Yet since then You have deprived this poor servant.
takhana bhāvinu, janama pāiyā,
kariba bhajana tava
janama ha-ila, paḍi’ māyā-jāle,
nā ha-ila jñāna-lava
takhana–then; bhāvinu–I thought; janama–birth; pāiyā–obtaining; kariba–I will do; bhajana–service; tava–Your; janama–birth; ha-ila–happened; paḍi’– falling; māyā (māyāra)–of Māyā; jāle (phā̐de)–into the net (trap); nā–not; ha-ila–became; jñāna (jñānera)–of knowledge; lava (leśa)–a fraction (trace). 
[3] At that moment I thought I would engage in Your service after taking birth. Yet when I was born, I fell into māyā’s trap, and not a trace of such consciousness remained.
ādarera chhele, svajanera kole,
hāsiyā kāṭānu kāla
janaka-jananī- snehete bhuliyā,
saṁsāra lāgila bhāla
ādarera–of adoring parents; chhele–a son; svajanera–of relatives; kole–in the lap; hāsiyā–smiling, laughing; kāṭānu–I passed; kāla–time; janaka–of my father; jananī–of my mother; snehete–due to the affection; bhuliyā–forgetting; saṁsāra–family life, the material world; lāgila–felt; bhāla–good. 
[4] As a son of adoring parents, I spent my time in their laps, smiling and laughing. Because of my mother and father’s affection, I forgot You and took pleasure in family life (material existence)
krame dina dina, bālaka ha-iyā,
khelinu bālaka saha
āra kichhu-dine, jñāna upajila,
pāṭha paḍi ahar-ahaḥ
krame–gradually; dina–day; dina–day; bālaka–a boy; ha-iyā–becoming; khelinu–I played; bālaka–boys; saha–with; āra–more; kichhu–some; dine– after days; jñāna–faculty of knowledge; upajila (udita ha-ila)–arose; pāṭha– lessons; paḍi–I study; ahar-ahaḥ (dina dina, sarva-kṣaṇa)–day after day (all the time). 
[5] Day by day I grew into a young boy and played with other young boys. Later on my intellect developed, and I studied my lessons day in and day out.
vidyāra gaurave, bhrami’ deśe deśe,
dhana upārjana kari’
svajana-pālana, kari eka-mane,
bhulinu tomāre hari!
vidyāra–of learning; gaurave–on the strength; bhrami’–travelling; deśe–in country; deśe–in (another) country; dhana–wealth; upārjana–earning; kari’–doing; svajana–relatives; pālana–maintenance; kari–I do; eka–single; mane–with a mind; bhulinu–I forgot; tomāre–about You; hari!–O Lord! 
[6] Then on the strength of my learning, I travelled from place to place, earned money, and maintained my family with undivided attention. I forgot You, O Lord!
vārddhakye ekhana, bhakati-vinoda,
kā̐diyā kātara ati
nā bhajiyā tore, dina vṛthā gela,
ekhana ki ha’be gati?
vārddhakye–in old age; ekhana–now; bhakati-vinoda–Bhakti Vinod; kā̐diyā–crying; kātara–distressed; ati–very; nā–not; bhajiyā–serving; tore–to You; dina–days; vṛthā–vain; gela–passed; ekhana–now; ki–what?; habe–will be; gati–destination.
[7] Now aged, Bhakti Vinod cries in great distress, “Not serving You, I have passed my days in vain. What will be my fate now?”
(prabhu ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Lord, give Your mercy to me this time.
(patita pāvan gaurahari ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Saviour of the fallen Gaurahari, give Your mercy to me this time.
(tomāra śrī charaṇe śaraṇ diyā ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Give me the shelter of Your feet; give me Your mercy this time.
(tomāra śrī charaṇe sevā diyā ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Give me the service of Your feet; give me Your mercy this time.
(sapārṣada gaurahari ei bār āmāy dayā kara)
Gaurahari with Your associates, give Your mercy to me this time.
(hari he, hari he, hari he!)
Oh Lord!
(nitāi gauraharibol, haribol, haribol, haribol!)
Chant “Nitai Gaurahari”! Chant “Hari”!
The main text of the song here is taken from Sharanagati, by Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur.

Sri Guru charana-padma


 
Srila Gurudev singing Sri Guru charana-padma during the installation festival for Sri Sri Nitai Chaitanyadev, Sri Puri Dham, 1989.

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śrī guru charaṇa-padma kevala bhakati-sadma
vando muñi sāvadhāna mate
yāhāra prasāde bhāi e bhava tariyā yāi
kṛṣṇa-prāpti haya yāhā haite
[1] I carefully offer my obeisance to Śrī Guru’s lotus feet, which are the only abode of devotion. O brother! By his mercy we cross over this world and reach Kṛṣṇa.
guru-mukha-padma-vākya chitete kariyā aikya
āra nā kariha mane āśā
śrī guru-charaṇe rati sei se uttama-gati
ye prasāde pūre sarva āśā
[2] Make the teachings from Śrī Guru’s lotus mouth one with your heart, and do not desire anything else. Attachment to Śrī Guru’s feet is the best path. By his mercy all desires are fulfilled.
chakṣu-dāna dilā yei janme janme prabhu sei
divya-jñāna hṛde prakāśita
prema-bhakti yāhā haite avidyā vināśa yāte
vede gāya yāhāra charita
[3] He who gave me the gift of vision is my lord, birth after birth. He manifested divine knowledge in my heart. He gives prema-bhakti and destroys ignorance. The Vedas sing of his character.
śrī-guru karuṇā-sindhu adhama janāra bandhu
lokanātha lokera jīvana
hā hā prabhu kara dayā deha more pada-chhāyā
e adhama la-ila śaraṇa
[4] Śrī Guru is an ocean of mercy and the friend of the fallen. He is the lord and life of all people. O master! Be merciful. Give me the shade of your feet. This fallen soul has taken shelter of you.