"I am nothing, but I have you"

The bhakta always feels, “I am very unqualified, but my Guru is highly qualified.”

 

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The bhakta always feels, “I am very unqualified, but my Guru is highly qualified.” This is their feeling, on two sides.
āpane ayogya dekhi’ mane pāṅ kṣobha
tathāpi tomāra guṇe upajaya lobha
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: 2.1.204)
“I feel I am very unqualified, I am a fallen soul, I have everything bad, but you are very glorious and you have all qualifications, you have transcendental power, and you can remove my darkness at any moment, so I do not want to leave your lotus feet. I may be a fallen soul, but from there I will see your lotus feet.”
Like the chatak bird: “I shall not go anywhere. I must see your lotus feet. I need your blessings.” We must always try to keep this type of faith in heart, and one day must come for our benefit. That day is our day, and we are waiting for that day. Then, there is no problem. I am always saying, “No problem.”
I know what is the problem for the conditioned souls. I am a conditioned soul, and so I know what is the problem for conditioned souls. But when I am looking at my divine master and his glory, then I can say, no problem. Within one second every darkness can go through his shining light. Then there is no problem. Only wait and see. Wait and see what Krishna’s play will be.
Sometimes fault can give us great benefit. Fault can benefit us but who is in garva-parvat [a mountain of pride] cannot get that benefit. A fallen soul may get very high benefit, but an auspicious soul may not get that, because an auspicious soul has some ego.
I am very satisfied with my Guru Maharaj. I am very satisfied, and I feel that that is sufficient for me. What feeling I have, I can say, but that will sound like a madman, so I do not want to say that; but if there is a chair, or a table, or a door in front of me, I will feel it. I will eat, and not feel it?—it is not possible. When I eat I must feel that my belly is becoming full, my health is becoming stronger, and my mind is going up.
Devotee: In Chaitanya-charitamrta there is the story of when Kalidas went to Jhaḍhu Ṭhākur and asked him for his prasad; Jhaḍhu Ṭhākur said, “You are a brahman, and I am not a brahman, so how can you take my prasad?” Then Kalidas quoted some verses about the position of a Vaishnava, but Jhaḍhu Ṭhākur said, “No, I am not a Vaishnava, these verses are not for me. What you are saying is true, but not for me.”
Srila Govinda Maharaj: His feeling must go in this way. Who is a Vaishnava, who is big, when he sees the very biggest thing he must think, “I am much smaller than this.”
Devotee: I know that with Harinam, if one has very bad samskar, it’s not important. But sometimes a person with bad samskar can be very strongly covered by maya, and so  sometimes I think that although Harinam is very great and the mercy of Guru is very great, because I am fool number one, a complete fool, Harinam and Guru must be keeping distance from me.
Srila Govinda Maharaj: Once this type of question came to Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur from his disciple, and Srila Bhakti Siddhanti Saraswati Thakur thrice asked him, “You feel you have nothing, no bhakti, that what you are doing is not really beneficial? You don’t feel that you are getting anything—this feeling is very strong in your mind?” Then Saraswati Thakur said, “Then you are getting something, and it is okay for you. Go.” This was on the roof of Bagh Bazaar Gaudiya Math, I heard from Guru Maharaj.
na prema-gandho ’sti darāpi me harau
krandāmi saubhāgya-bharaṁ prakāśitum
vaṁśī-vilāsy-ānana-lokanaṁ vinā
bibharmi yat prāṇa-pataṅgakān vṛthā
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta 2.2.45)
[“I do not have even a trace of love for Krishna. Still, I cry to show that I have a great fortune. Without a glimpse of the face of that Flute Player, I carry on My meaningless, insect-like life.”]
When Mahaprabhu himself says, “I do not have even a little drop of prema for Krishna”, if Mahaprabhu is showing this feeling to us, then who are we? We must try to follow those feelings.
Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj speaking in December of 1989.
Reference:
virachaya mayi daṇḍaṁ dīna-bandho dayām vā
gatir iha na bhavattaḥ kāchid anyā mamāsti
nipatatu śata-koṭir-nirbharaṁ vā navāmbhaḥ
tad api kila-payodaḥ stūyate chātakena
(Srila Rupa Goswami)
“O Friend of the needy, whether You chastise me or reward me, in the whole wide world I have no other shelter but You. Whether the thunderbolt strikes or torrents of fresh waters shower down, the chatak bird (who drinks only the falling rainwater) perpetually goes on singing the glories of the raincloud.”

A Festival of Separation

“Viraha Mahotsav: A festival of separation”. Discussion last night in Sao Paulo on the divine disappearance day of our Gurudev Om Vishnupad Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj. English class by Vishakha Devi Dasi with translation into Portuguese by Rasikananda Prabhu.
1 hour and 20 min+ mp3 audio file

My life is only meant for Krishna

By His Divine Grace Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj
Devotee: Guru Maharaj, how can we please you? What can we do that will be pleasing to you?
Srila Guru Maharaj: Krishna is for Himself, that is He exists for His own purpose, and we also exist for him. When you can adopt this line of life, for which I am also trying to use my energy wholesale, when you will join that concern, then I will be pleased.
What I am to do with this life, I like that others will also follow that. My life is only meant for Krishna, and naturally I would like that others will also follow this same route. That is only natural. “Sri Chaitanya manobhistam”, what is the desire of Sri Chaitanyadev, and accordingly, the desire of my Guru Maharaj, I want to work towards fulfilling that.
Under the direction of my Gurudev, I am following the path to Radha-Krishna consciousness, where we will enter the domain where Radharani is serving Her most beloved Lord Krishna. We consider this to be our highest goal, and anyday, anytime in this infinite time, we want to reach that goal, the highest ideal. It is our only aim in life, and we consider that everyone should accept it as their summum bonum.
What is the most faultless, purest conception of life? Exploitation is filthy, and renunciation is zero, therefore service, loving service is the highest zenith of purity. We want to prepare ourselves for that cause—the most intense loving service with no tinge of exploitation. Purity depends only on how much we can sacrifice our self for the highest object, and that is love proper. It is based on sacrifice, not on exploitation. Love proper stands on the plane of sacrifice. As much sacrifice, then that much we will have love, the basis of love must be sacrifice—the pure love. Die to live. Sacrifice does not end only in renunciation. That is only the negative side, but there is positive sacrifice. Sacrifice for the perfect cause, the absolute good. And that sacrifice is living, it does not just reach the zero and disappear, not that samadhi. No, it is the most intensified life, possessed of the highest degree of living energy. The standard of that sacrifice we cannot conceive of and we may never be able to reach that standard. Here we have some experience of heat but within the sun how much heat is there? It is inconceivable, and intolerable to us, but we cannot deny that it exists. The highest degree of heat is found in the sun and there are also substances that can stand that heat, but we can only tolerate the sun from some distance. So in the same way, we can only render service under the direction of the highest servitors. In Krishnaloka there is a special group of servitors in every rasa; dasya, sakhya, vatsalya, and madhura (servitude, friendship, parental and consorthood), and we are to reach that certain distance in relation to them where we will thrive most. We cannot stand if we venture to go nearer. So Radha-dasya is necessary, or Yashoda-dasya, Nanda-dasya, Sudhama-dasya, because their degree of serving sacrifice will be intolerable to us, due to our constitution. Only from behind them can we render our service. We can do our duty and that will be our acme. Our highest aspiration should be there, this has been recommended for us.
The first group is already there, and we can never take the place of them. Only from behind them, in the second or third line, we can do our best work, and our highest attainment will be from that position. From there we will be able to have some experience of the higher order, we will get some view how things are going on in the area of most intense heat.
One poet has written that if the fly falls into the pot of honey while trying to taste its sweetness, then he will die. Its wings will be covered with honey and it will drown there. But if, instead of honey the pot is filled with amrta then the fly won’t die, because it is amrta. Taking the sweetness of that amrta one will get eternal life.
So we cannot tolerate the “heat” but that heat is sweet heat. It will not burn us but we can’t stand, we can’t raise ourselves up to that degree. It is not within us. Just like we are limited as to what we can see. The most intense light is invisible to us, for example the X-ray. And sound, a very high sound will be inaudible to us, as will a very low sound. Only in the middle can we hear. The senses are like that, and the position of the soul is also like that, it has its range within which it thrives.
Visvanath Chakravarti has in a nutshell described what is our duty, that our object of adoration is the Lord Nandanandana, Krishna, the son of the King of Vraja, and His capital is Vrindavan. A sweet forest town. The Jamuna is there, Radha Kunda, the Govardhan Hill, and so many kadamba trees, lotus flowers—many wonderful things. A garden town, Vrindavan, that is His capital. And there we find a peculiar type of worship which has been designed by the damsels of Vrindavan, the Gopis. They have discovered a very peculiar, sweet type of service, worship of their Lord of Love. We have much charm for that. The type of worship and adoration designed by the Gopis, that is the most attractive.
How do we know that this is the truth? This may all be imagination. Where is your evidence, your witnesses, where is your guarantee that you may get that thing? Who can say that it is not purely imagination? The great scripture Srimad Bhagavatam, which is acknowledged as the very gist of all revealed scriptures, that holy book stands guarantee for us all. And what does it offer, that Bhagavatam? You are to aspire and strive so hard, but what will be your remuneration?
You will receive the fifth end of life, and that is Love Divine. You will be able to taste that nectar of Love Divine. That has been reserved for you. And where do you get that? Who has taught that? Who has given this information to you? Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, that great Lord, Chaitanyadev. He has come with all these fine things, these wonderful things and our greatest respect is for this advice, this direction of our life.
Devotee: Maharaj, can we all get there?
Srila Guru Maharaj: Yes, we can all have our birth in that land. All can be accommodated there, that is the nature of the infinite. But there is gradation according to our capacity. Santa, dasya, sakhya, vatsalya, madhura, in this way the hierarchy is there. There is the clerk, the officer, the confidential officer—gradation. The friendly circle, they will have to serve under Subala, Sudhama, Sridham, etc., their eternal leaders in that rasa. In the filial circle, Nanda, Yashoda and others are the permanent leaders, and we may serve under them. In madhura-rasa also there is the selected group. So we are to be located in some area of service. So many services are there; the garland service, the food service, the fanning service, and so on. So according to my inner taste I shall be grouped there in a particular section where I will get my duty. There I will get my best satisfaction, I will be fulfilled as much as may be contained within my heart. And sometimes, like hunger, I will feel separation and then there will be union. Separation will prepare us for relishing the food even more. In this way there are so many arrangements in that land. Heart’s transaction has its facility there. Bhakti comes from the heart. Heart holds a higher position than the brain. Ruchi (taste) is the sweetest thing there. No calculation is found in Vrindavan. In Vaikuntha of course, the position of brain is there to some degree. But in Vrindavan—reflex action, inspiration, love is the moving force.
Note:
In this article Srila Sridhar Maharaj beautifully illuminates this well known verse encapsulating Mahaprabhu’s conception,
aradhyo bhagavan vrajesa-tanayas tad-dhama vrndavanam
ramya kachid upasana vrajavadhu-vargena ya kalpita
srimad-bhagavatam pramanam amalam prema pumartho mahan
sri-chaitanya-mahaprabhor matam idam tatradarah nah parah
(Srila Visvanath Chakravarti)
“‘Our worshippable Lord is the son of the King of Vraja, Krishna, whose abode is Vrndavan. The most pleasing worship is that performed by the wives of Vraja. Srimad Bhagavatam is the flawless authority, and divine love is the ultimate goal of human life.’ This is the conception of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, and we adore it as supreme.”
This text was originally published in Counterpoint by Sriman Devashis Prabhu
 

Jadi Gaura na ho’to

Sing Gaurāṅga’s glories again and again, keeping your heart simple. In the ocean of this material world, no one has ever seen anyone so merciful.


Srila Gurudev singing Jadi Gaura na ho’to on Sri Gaura Purnima day, 28 February 1991.
yadi, gaura nā ha’ta tabe ki ha-ita
kemane dharitām de
rādhāra mahimā prema-rasa-sīmā
jagate jānāta ke? [1]
If Śrī Gaura had not come, what would have happened? How would we have maintained our lives? Who would have revealed to the world Śrī Rādhā’s glory and the extremes of Her ecstatic divine love?
madhura vṛndā- vipina mādhurī
praveśa chāturī sāra
varaja-yuvatī bhāvera bhakati
śakati ha-ita kāra? [2]
Who would have the great expertise needed to enter into the sweetness of sweet Vṛndāvan? Who would have any qualification for the Vraja-gopīs’ ecstatic devotion?
gāo punaḥ punaḥ gaurāṅgera guṇa
sarala kariyā mana
e bhava-sāgare emana dayāla
nā dekhiye eka-jana [3]
Sing Gaurāṅga’s glories again and again, keeping your heart simple. In the ocean of this material world, no one has ever seen anyone so merciful.
gaurāṅga baliyā nā genu galiyā
kemane dharinu de
vāsura-hiyā pāṣāṇa diyā
kemane gaḍiyāchhe [4]
I chant ‘Gaurāṅga’, but have not melted (with love). How have I maintained this body? How has Providence made Vāsu a stone rather than a heart?
(Śrīla Vāsudev Ghoṣ)

Remembering Srila Gurudev: Swami B.P. Janardan

In this exclusive interview with Swami Bhakti Pavan Janardan Maharaj His Holiness shares his rich experience in over twenty years of association with our Gurudev, Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj.

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Photo: Srimad Janardan Maharaj stands (far left) with Srila Gurudev and his entourage at the Krishna Shakti Ashram in Brazil, in 1996.

In the playground with Krishna

Srila Govinda Maharaj

The gift of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu

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no dīkāṁ na cha sat-kriyāṁ na cha puraścharyāṁ manāg īkṣate
mantro ’yaṁ rasanā-spṛg eva phalati śrī-kṛṣṇa-nāmātmaka
(Padyāvalī: 29)
[“Sri Krishna’s Name does not rely upon (pancharatrik) initiation, pious works, or preparatory practices in the least; Sri Krishna’s Name produces results simply by touching the tongue.”]
With love and affection, and without offence, try to chant this Holy Name of Lord Kṛṣṇa. It will rescue everything—that power is with Kṛṣṇa-nām. The Lord’s Name is always so auspicious and can rescue everyone. But Kṛṣṇa’s Name has some speciality: He is attracting and giving His nectar. That is the speciality of Kṛṣṇa-nām. Other names of God are also so powerful and so beautiful, but Kṛṣṇa-nām is mixing with the hearts of the Kali-yuga people; it is the nearest and most extremely beautiful form of the Lord. That is Kṛṣṇa-nām.
harer nāmaiva kevalam
kalau nāsty eva nāsty eva nāsty eva gatir anyathā
There is no other alternative except Kṛṣṇa-nām. It is not necessary to do many things or anything else: only connect with Hari-nām, the transcendental divine form of the Lord. It is not my speculation, but all the scriptures have told this: in the Veda, Vedānta, Upaniṣads, eighteen Purāṇas, Mahābhārata—everywhere, even in the Āyurveda. Where is He not present? Kṛṣṇa is present everywhere.
In the Upaniṣads, that example of two birds is given: one is hearing, one is eating; one is sleeping, and another is watching. Paramātmā, who is watching, has some influence over all, and through that all the jīva-souls are getting some help. That is the special quality of Paramātmā. There is Brahma, Paramātmā, and then supremely Bhagavān.
Bhagavān means the Supreme Personality of Godhead, where we will find everything: love and affection. Śrīla Rūpa Goswāmī Prabhu says, all divine forms of God have good qualification for the jīva-souls, but Kṛṣṇa is so special. If you want to embrace Kṛṣṇa, He will be very happy with you, but other Gods are sitting in the chair, and the jīva-souls are fearful of Them. This is not the position of Kṛṣṇa.
sarvādbhuta-chamatkāra-līlā-kallola-vāridhi
atulya-madhura-prema-maṇḍita-priya-maṇḍalaḥ
(Śrī Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu: Dakṣiṇa-vibhāga, 141–2)
[“Kṛṣṇa is like an ocean filled with waves of pastimes that evoke wonder within everyone in the three worlds. In His activities of conjugal love, He is always surrounded by His dear devotees who possess unequaled love for Him.”]
Everything in connection with Kṛṣṇa is very familiar for the conditioned souls. You can feed Kṛṣṇa, you can play with Kṛṣṇa, you can chastise Kṛṣṇa, and you can give your love, affection, and everything to Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa will always be very happy with you. That is the most palatable and suitable position for the jīva-souls.
We honour everyone and we must give our full daṇḍavat to everyone, but after that we will go to our playground and play with Kṛṣṇa in śānta-rasa, dāsya-rasa, sakhya- rasa, vātsalya-rasa, and madhura-rasa: servitorhood, friendship, parenthood, and even paramour love is possible with God. Who can believe it?
Kaṁ prati kathayitum īśe ko vā pratītim āyātu: to whom shall I tell, and who will believe? This śloka’s meaning is this. Kaṁ prati kathayitum īśe: to whom shall I tell? Ko vā pratītim āyātu: who will believe that Kṛṣṇa is playing with the Vraja-gopīs in the Kuñja-līlā, and playing happily in the courtyard of Nanda Mahārāj? There is no obstacle there.
kaṁ prati kathayitum īśe samprati ko vā pratītim āyātu
go-pati-tanayā-kuñje gopa-vadhūṭī-viṭaṁ brahma
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: 2.19.98)
The youthful mood of Kṛṣṇa; playing with the girls of Vraja and the Vraja-vāsīns; friendship, fatherhood, motherhood; the trees are giving palatable fruits, the cows are giving so much palatable milk—it is all a very joyful situation there with God, with the Lord. With our Divine Master it is possible, and Sri Chaitanya Mahāprabhu has given a connection to us through the Holy Name. It will reveal in our heart. We need to chant without offence, and one day we must be qualified, no doubt.
Spoken by His Divine Grace in Italy at Villa Govinda Ashram during his visit in September 2007.
 
 

Vaishnava Toshani Vyasa Puja Edition

Sri Vaishnava Toshani Special Vyasa Puja Edition, Nov–Dec 1993, Vol 2 #10 is presented here.
pdf file
epub file
Contents
I Cannot Forget My Love For You
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
Everyone Knows His High Position
by His Divine Grace B.R. Sridhar Dev-Goswami
Offerings From The Sannyasis
Offerings From Seva Vikram And Seva Sundar
Offerings From The Assembled Devotees
Offerings From The Children
 
Previous editions uploaded:
Jan–Feb 1992 Vol 1 No 1
March–April 1992 Vol 1 No 2
May–June 1992 Vol 1 No 3
Nov–Dec 1992, Vol 1 #6
May–June 1993, Vol 2 #2
Sept–Oct 1993, Vol 2 #3